So, yesterday I was writing a post, and then DW ate it... Anyway.
Work. I like work. It makes me tired, and it's annoying at times, but it makes me feel useful. Like I'm part of something, like I'm important, and that is good. It's really good. It stops most of the suicide thoughts, because I have a purpose now, in a way studying will never give me, I think. I'm not saying academia is not important, but it makes me feel irrelevant. No one cares if I come to lectures or not. So I think working at the same time as I study is the only way for me to get through this. Not because of the money but because of the 'doing something proper'.
Also, I like my collegues, which of course helps a lot, too.